Posted by: Denitsa | October 18, 2010

Too late and wrong for the Siamese grandpa

I came acroos the next animal hoarder. I have had experience with those type of people before. I did not have resources to help all of the suffering and sick animals there. But just like that, only as a try, i posted in an german forum the picture of an old Siamese cat that i couldn`t feel sorry for. He was old, weak and very very slim.  Suddenly only for a day from the german forum a wonderful woman decided to adopt him and give him everything that he needs in his last years. I was extremely happy, no, i was jubilating. I gave his owner a week to get used to the thought of letting him go and in Saturday evening i took him in my guest room along with a little kitten that has a hole in his throat and very infected eyes. Survive (as the german ladies named him) seemed content and happy with the new surroundings. Perhaps he remembered what it was like to live in a warm, protected and clean place. Before he lived in a yard and because he was so lean, he was always cold.  He ate much despite what his owner declared – that he ate little. He greeted me on the door every time i walked in and wanted to go out of the room, perhaps to explore. Even though he was weak it seemed that he enjoys the change. I did not touch him. I was afraid of the feeling because he weighed only 1 kg and he was only skin and bones. He seeked my touch and i did not give it to him. I was also afraid to touch him because of a possible virus which i can transmit to my other cats. I regret that so much now…

On Sunday afternoon i took Survive and the little girl to the vet. Both were injected with antibiotics. Both for the infected eyes and the cough and sneezing. I took them back at home and went out in the park for a few hours. When i came back Survive was sick. Only minutes later he passed away quietly. He did not have strenght even to cry with pain.  The vet said it was an allergic reaction to the antibiotics. I blame myself because i could have left him adjust more to the surroundings, i could have delayed the antibiotics, i could not have left him alone after the vet visit and so on and so on…

This poor creature has spent all his life in terrible conditions. His last year he was sick and weak and sooo cold. He had a chance to live his final years abroad in the loving home of a nice lady. His last hours he spent in a cosy environment seeking human touch that he never received.

Whatever i say more, it won`t be of any use…

Rest in peace, tortured soul! Forgive me for being so impatient to prepare you for your new home which you never got to. I hope now you are healthy, content, happy and maybe with a person next to you. You wanted to have your Person so much. You needed and sought for human touch! Run freely and love the way you know in heavens! If you can forgive me, i will be so happy to meet you again one day! I knew you only for a day but i will remember you always! You taught me a lesson and i will do my best never to forget your message. I only regret you paying with your life for that…I am sorry…

R.I.P., Survive!

When i met him…:

Always seeking the warmth of others…

In my guest`s room remembering what is like to live in a dry and warm place

Only few hours later Survive was on his way to Heavens…

Farewell and forgive us all…


  1. Forgive yourself. You did you best and that is all that you can possibly do.

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